Mind Games

It was a beautiful day here today--temperature in the high forties, blue skies with a couple of clouds.

Liz had a dentist appointment in D.C., so Robbie and I were bachelors this morning. We had a bit of a lash up this morning, when his need to watch Spongebob trumped my ability to get him out the door in time for me to go to my Saturday yoga class. If there hadn't been a hard schedule, I could have worn him down, but we had to leave NOW if I was to make class on time. Best I could have hoped for was NOW + 5 minutes. My fault for waiting until the last minute to get him ready, and for not being the type to yank him off the sofa with the "Because I'm the Daddy and I make the rules..." speech. So I missed my class and was pissy most for most of the next hour.

Instead--after Spongebob--we went to Target to buy a new showerhead for the guest bathroom, stopped at a local pizza parlor for lunch, then on a whim went to WalMart and bought a kite. We went to the local kite field (for the locals, it's on your right as you cross the bridge into Solomons Island, next to the beautiful farm) where we flew our kite in the puffy winds.

Through it all, I felt a little tired. I took a nap when we got home. Here's where the mind games come in. Before, I would have attributed the tiredness to the long week I had and the five hours of sleep I got Thursday night. Now I'm asking, "Is this the CLL? Is this the fatigue that until now has been missing? Am I starting to show symptoms? If so, why? Is this getting worse? Did I wait to late to start Chemo?" It's probably a silly set of questions, but they're still on my mind. I'll let you know how I feel tomorrow--Liz has to leave early tomorrow morning for a business trip, so it's me and Robbie alone until late Monday night. I hope this is just normal tired, because it was too easy to be cranky today.