We're on the bus!

And headed for the hotel. The trip has been great so far. I'll give more detail when I'm not on a Blackberry.

Well Baby Visit

Went to G-town yesterday--all is well.  Looks like I'm responding to the new treatment and have started the next cycle.  Actually got into the back room at 10:45 for a 10:30 appointment.  That shatters the old record by a wide margin.  Left lung still now fully up to speed, but no x-rays needed.  Left G-town by noon and got to spend the afternoon catching up with my friend Elena and her daughter (also my friend) Tayrn.

We leave for Disneyworld tomorrow.  While I'm there, I'll try to take a few minutes to tell you about Robbie's best Christmas ever.

May Auld Acquaintance Be Forgot...

Happy New Year!  Happy new year indeed.  Let me start by saying I'm in pretty good spirits all things considered, sipping a very nice Schramsberg champagne on this New Year's Eve, reflecting back on what by any standard would have to be called an eventful year.

OK, let me say it:  THIS.  YEAR.  SUCKED.  In the great scheme of things, 2009 has joined the pantheon of 1985 and 1988 as 'The Years that Sucked Most in My Life'.  (If you want to hear the 1985 and 1988 stories, it will cost you beer or really good single malt Scotch.)  To review:

February 2009:  Diagnosed with cancer
June 2009:  Almost--in fact, should have--died from viral pneumonia
July-September 2009:  Recovering from June 2009 adventure
December 2009:  My dog died

That was a year of sustained suckatood.  So how is it I can sit here on the cusp of 2010 feeling generally okay about things?  Part of the reason (and here's where I start kissing up) is you.  It's you and all the other people who have supported me, who have prayed for me, and who care about me.  This could have been a very lonely time, a very lonely battle.   I hope you never have this sort of opportunity to know how important it is to know how many people care about you, and how many people there are that care.  Make sure you tell the people in your life who don't have CLL how much they mean to you.

2009 had it share of blessings.  I got a new job and the opportunity to lead an superb group of professionals.  Until the hospital interlude, I was really starting to advance in my yoga practice.  I met some incredible people on both sides of the medical fence--patients and medical professionals.  I got to see Christmas through the eyes of a child again.   Sometime soon (while it's still somewhat topical) I'll share the story of Robbie's Christmas, and how he now is more convinced than ever that Santa Claus is real thanks to things I did.

I have great hope for 2010.  I'm already seeing improvement from the new treatment I'm undergoing.  We're heading for Disneyworld next week, where Liz will be running her Marathon-O-The-Week.  Robbie is very excited.

Resolutions:

I will--however slowly--get back into my yoga practice.
I will get back into the habit of walking at least every other day.
I will reconnect with friends from whom I have drifted.
I will be more patient with my son, the most precious thing in my life.
I will work with Liz to remember that before Robbie, there was us.

That ought to keep me busy.

Anyway, it's almost 11:00 and I'm almost done with the champagne.  As an aside, growing up in the Central Time zone made New Year's strange--the Times Square ball always dropped at 11:00 p.m.  It was pretty anti-climatic.

Thank you for reading this blog.  Thank you, Louise, for suggesting it.  Let's hope 2010 is filled with wonder and joy.

At the end of yoga practice, it is traditional to say "Namaste" (nah-mah-stay), which means "The light in me salutes and honors the light in you."  To each of you,  Namaste.

Happy New Year.

Multimedia message

Sunshine's paw print captured in a plaster-of-paris ornament, sent by the veterinarin's office.

Rest in Peace

Sunshine McMichael

February 2, 1997 to December 21, 2009

At 4:45 p.m. today, Sunshine, our bulldog, our "first child", and our companion of the last 12 years and 9 months, passed away quietly in Liz's arms at the Three Notch Veterinary hospital in California, Maryland.  She had been having minor health issues for some time--mainly skin and eye problems--but there were no real indications of anything seriously wrong.  Today when we returned from shopping, she was lying on her bed showing real signs of labored breathing.  Liz knew immediately that something wasn't right and called the vet.  I stayed behind at the house with Robbie.  Liz texted me at 4:20 to say "It's time".  Sunshine's heart, which had beat so strongly and so bravely well past the normally alloted time for bulldogs, was finally giving out.  It hurts so badly.

I've told Robbie.  He is feeling the feelings only a child losing his first dog can feel.  Sunshine has always been part of his life.  Through his tears, he summed it up for us all I think:  "She was the most beautiful dog in the world.  She's always in my heart."

You were a good girl, Sunshine.

Let it snow, let it snow, ...

We had a visit from mother nature last night--woke up to about a foot of snow (the large flesh colored cloud over the Mini would be my finger--that's how professional photographers do it).  Liz had the pleasure of driving home from the airport in that snow.  She got in around 3:30 a.m.  Two of her colleagues, who were on the same flight but took a different route home, got in around 8:00 this morning.  The good news is that the heavy stuff won't be here until this afternoon sometime.

Had my weekly visit to Dr. Cheson on Wednesday which was boring then exciting in turns.  Got to the hospital just in time for my 10:00 appointment, then sat until 1:00 p.m. when I was finally called into the back.  Dr. Cheson finally joined me around 1:30.  I'm looking at my watch, getting nervous because I've got to leave by 3:00 to pick Robbie up at daycare.  All was going well until Dr. Cheson listened to my lungs.  I noticed he came back several times to the left side.  Finally, at around 2:00 p.m., he told Jenny, the trials coordinator, "He's going to need a chest X-ray."  I thought, "Oh, Crap".  That "Oh, Crap" had several layers, as in "Oh Crap! I hope I get back to get Robbie on time." and "Oh Crap, Liz is in Seattle and I neglected to put a back-up in place to pick up Robbie [note to self:  never assume any visit will be a 'routine' visit], and lastly, but by no means leastly, "Oh Crap, I hope I don't get admitted to the hospital!"  That in itself was another nested series of "Oh Craps!" that I won't go through.  Did I mention it was Robbie's birthday?

Anyway, on the way down to Radiology (sadly, I knew just where it was), I texted several people, including Liz.  Liz, in turn, marshaled several back-up pick-up bodies.  I got out of Radiology and waited for the good folks to read the xray.  The report came back negative for pneumonia--which was Dr. Cheson's concern--in plenty of time to get Robbie.   Well, not plenty:  I left the hospital at 3:10, and picked him up 10 minutes before the school closed.

So all is well now.  We're waiting for the promised blizzard to arrive and we have to get Liz's rental car back before the real weather hits.  Wish us luck!

Addendum:  You didn't wish hard enough.  Though we managed to get the rental car back OK (passing several people in ditches along the way) we had our own comeuppance within 500 feet of our house.   We have a 300' gravel driveway that runs slightly uphill through a growth of young pines.  Our first attempt at driving up the driveway sputtered and spun to a halt on the ice below the snow.  Liz decided to backup down to pavement to get more of a running start, and promptly put the right front wheel of the van in the ditch. It only took a few tries to demonstrate that the van was well and truly stuck.  I went up to the house to get my 10-year-old Ram 1500 to pull her out.  I backed the BFRT (Big Frickin' Red Truck) down the driveway and turned onto the lane.  Unfortunately, I didn't turn soon enough, promptly putting  both driver's side wheels in the ditch on the other side.  Thank God for good neighbors.  James to our south and Tom to our north both came out.  James brought his Jeep and his wide nylon strap, and with Tom's help and advice we managed to free both vehicles.  (Unmanly confession:  Tom had to remind me how to get my truck into 4-wheel-drive low.  Made a big difference)  I was going to blame our lack of recent winter driving experience, but then I remembered that I asked you to wish us luck.  Obviously, you didn't do YOUR job properly.  Try harder next time.

While Tom, James, and I were getting the truck unstuck, Liz dug out a parking place for James' wife on a small side road.  James stopped by a while ago to bring back our shovels.  He also dropped off a chilled bottle of his homemade Gewurztraminer, a German white wine.  I fear it won't be here for long.  Did I mention I have great neighbors?

Sitting in the waiting room at Georgetown. Out in the lobby there's a Christmas party for the kids on the cancer ward. You tell me the last time you saw something this poignent. They just finish Rudolph and they're waiting now for Santa.